Taylor Swift is so right about you.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
