you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Randomize
