wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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