My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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