Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
