You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
