I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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