the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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