I want to have your abortion
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Never underestimate the power of titties
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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