erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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