first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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