No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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