I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
