so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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