forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
