my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
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I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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