Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
