I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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