Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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