Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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