Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize