I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
