And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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