theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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