Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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