The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
