Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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