Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
