I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
