I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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