hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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