A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's never too late to be topless.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
