i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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