ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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