i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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