D3 body, D1 cock
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
