You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
