I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
