four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
