The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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