I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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