Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
