Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
