I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
