my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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