I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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