I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize