she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
