I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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