So gin and wine won't be happening again
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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