Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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