just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
