So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
