the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I want to make a zoo with you.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
