Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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