Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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