I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
